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Short story

Too Much Pressure

ElevatorToo Much Pressure

The long “ting”, followed by the endless squealing of the heavy automatic doors, announced the long-awaited stop of the elevator; Lucas, drowned in his own extreme, claustrophobic panic, hurried out, crushing his already sore right shoulder against the edge of the door, plunging without a glance into a mouldy, pitch-black hallway.
Behind him, in the thick darkness, one could hear the heavy doors closing; that shuffled, metallic, icy sound, revived in his memory other times, in which fear, hunger and war were part of his daily life.


Taking a deep breath, Lucas closed his eyes, trying to fool the fear, as the sounds of the elevator moved farther and farther away – perhaps even too much; with small tentative steps, expectant arms, searched for the nearest wall, and as soon as possible, he thought, a switch that would pull him out of that oppressive blackness that – shouted his subconscious – was worthy of any work of Lovecraft.
In the charged dark, carrying within himself fears and insecurities of a lifetime, Lucas winds himself in the stifling breeze, stumbling on a miserable step, causing him to wiggle and scatter, throwing him helpless in the void, until something backs his side and abruptly interrupts the croquette of dust and soot in which, unwillingly, he was transformed; hesitant, stretches out his fingers, reaching with his hand to feel that still, cool, soft mass that was shouldering his back: a tire, stubbornly clinging to a dusty car, which his hands would shape, and like so many others, as he came to confirm, filled that gloomy car grave.
Lucas realized that he was, not where he wanted, but in a place where he had never been and whose will to remain there was strange to him; in the dark, faltering, crawling on the dirty floor, he returns to the atrium of the elevator, probing the walls for the call button, which, no matter how hard he tried, was elusive, denying him any hope of leaving.
Gradually the ominous monster that inhabited him, fed up with such a worthless host, ripped his way, plunging his feet into his stomach, digging his claws into his chest, forcing, with open mouth and fiery eyes, the lump that formed in Lucas’s throat; sweating profusely, crying like a child, trying to remove the blade that lacerated his chest, unable to lift himself an inch, Lucas let out his last breath, empty eyes fixed on the distant light that hovered him…

The diffuse light goes from the ground floor sign to the first basement, then the second, the third and the fourth, ending with a “ting” and a heavy door that opens, with an enduring sizzle, gushing over the black atrium a torrent of light, allowing James, the building warden, to witness the sad figure of Lucas lying on the floor, mouth full of dust, marks of soot on the wall within inches of the elevator button; without any show of affection for the corpse that lay there, motionless, on the floor of that garage transformed into an old cars depot (some with almost a century!), James climbs up again, mentally preparing the steps to follow, murmuring “Miserable fool!”, while suppressing a single tear from his eyes and shaking his head, trying to erase what he has seen.

Jorge Cristino 2017

***

The original version (below) was written in Portuguese, around 2014

Demasiada pressão

O longuíssimo “dlim”, seguido do chiar interminável das pesadas portas automáticas, anunciava a tão esperada paragem do ascensor; Lucas, afogado no seu próprio pânico, claustrofóbico em último grau, apressara-se a sair, esmagando o ombro direito, já dorido, contra a quina da porta, mergulhando, sem olhar, num bafiento átrio, escuro como breu.
Atrás de si, na escuridão espessa, ouviam-se fechar as pesadas portas; aquele som arrastado, metálico e gelado, avivava na sua memória outros tempos, em que o medo, a fome e a guerra faziam parte do seu dia-a-dia.
Respirando fundo, Lucas fechou os olhos, tentando enganar o medo, enquanto os sons do ascensor se afastavam cada vez mais – talvez até demais; com pequenos passos tacteantes, braços expectantes, procurou a parede mais próxima, e, o quanto antes – pensou ele -, um interruptor que o tirasse daquele opressivo negrume, que, gritava o seu subconsciente, era digno de uma qualquer obra de Lovecraft.
No escuro carregado, carregando, dentro de si, medos e inseguranças de toda uma vida, Lucas embrulha-se na aragem sufocante, tropeçando num mísero degrau, que o faz bambolear e esparramar-se, atirando-o desamparado no vazio, até que algo lhe sustém os costados e abruptamente interrompe o croquete de pó e fuligem em que, involuntariamente, se transformava; hesitante, estende os dedos, levando a mão a sentir aquela massa imóvel, fria e macia, que lhe escorava as costas: um pneu, teimosamente agarrado a um carro empoeirado, que as suas mãos viriam a tornear, e igual a tantos outros que, como veio a confirmar, enchiam aquele sombrio sepulcro automóvel.
Lucas percebeu que estava, não onde queria, mas num sítio onde jamais tinha estado e cuja vontade em ali permanecer lhe era estranha; no escuro, titubeante, de gatas pelo chão sujo, retorna ao átrio do ascensor, sondando as paredes em busca do botão de chamada, que, por mais que tentasse, se mostrava esquivo, negando-lhe qualquer esperança de sair dali.
Aos poucos, o monstro escuro que o habitava, farto de tão imprestável anfitrião, rasga caminho, fincando os pés no seu estômago, cravando as garras no peito, forçando, de boca aberta e olhos de fogo, o nó que se formava na garganta de Lucas; a suar em bica, chorando como uma criança, tentando retirar do peito a lâmina que o lacerava, sem forças para se içar mais uns centímetros, Lucas solta o seu último suspiro, olhos vazios fixos na luz distante que pairava acima dele…

A difusa luz passa do sinal do rés-do-chão para a primeira cave, depois para a segunda, a terceira e a quarta, terminando com um “dlim” e uma pesada porta que se abre, com um chiar interminável, jorrando sobre o negro átrio uma torrente de luz, permitindo a Tiago, o segurança do prédio, presenciar a triste figura de Lucas deitado no chão, boca cheia de pó, marcas de fuligem na parede a escassos centímetros do botão do ascensor; sem quaisquer demonstrações de afecto pelo cadáver que ali jazia, inerte, no chão daquela garagem transformada em arrecadação de velhos carros (alguns com quase um século!), Tiago volta a subir, preparando mentalmente os passos a seguir, murmurando “Pobre coitado!”, enquanto reprime dos olhos uma única lágrima e abana a cabeça procurando apagar o que viu.

By Inconsiderate Bastard

The Rude and Inconsiderate Bastard's Experience is a never-ending list of rants, ideas and shares of dubious taste and provenance. Most of the things I share will be discussed here as well. Anyone is free to leave!

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